


you know my desire

by heatsoaked



Series: my draculove [1]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Canon Universe, Drabble, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21685018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatsoaked/pseuds/heatsoaked
Summary: "were you ever going to tell me?"
Relationships: Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin
Series: my draculove [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577758
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	you know my desire

"were you ever going to tell me?" 

changmin wipes away some of the blood still clinging to his lips and chin, smearing it over the back of his hand, his cheeks and his jaw. 

"at some point," he admits slowly, "yeah." 

the young man – tall and pale in the murky light from the window – still sprawled out in the middle of changmin's living room stirs feebly. he's not dead. yunho knows because he checked and double-checked and changmin had bashfully muttered something about self-control.

yunho looks from the young man and his puddle of blood to changmin and then at the fruit bowl sitting between them on the kitchen table. 

"can you die?" he finally asks, the question practically forcing its way out of him. 

changmin cocks his head. "do you want to kill me?" he counters. 

yunho's hands, which are sitting on the white tabletop, fingers entwined as if in prayer reflexively tighten their grip as he flinches with his whole body. the question feels like a kick to the chest, tilting his world at an axis before it forcefully rights itself again. he feels sick.

"don't say something like that," he forces out of his dry throat and changmin ducks his head in a silent apology. 

there's still blood smeared all over his face, throat and hands. a brilliant, deep red even in this dim light and yunho can't _not_ look at him. his eyes are drawn even has his breath stutters in his chest and his stomach twists violently. changmin just looks at him, his gaze half defiant, half apologetic and it's giving yunho a similar sort of whiplash to seeing human blood smeared on a face he's known for over fifteen years. 

"i've never killed anyone, hyung," changmin says, breaking the silence. "i wouldn't." 

"i know," yunho murmurs. he believes this is true because he really doesn't know what he would do if it wasn't. 

changmin is still looking at him, lips parted slightly so yunho can see the glint of his teeth behind his lips where the blood is slowly drying and darkening into an ugly coppery red colour. his eyes are wide and searching, dark and achingly familiar. 

"i've never killed," changmin repeats, a note of urgency in his voice now, "and i'll never touch you, hyung. i swear."

despite his best efforts, yunho's gaze slips back to the young man lying unconscious on the floor. the narrow face, soft brown hair and a small mouth and a realisation like train ramming into him at full speed hits him. he sinks back into his chair and a soft little, "oh," escapes him. 

changmin's expression, beneath all the blood, is unreadable. 

since yunho was a teenager there have always been things he's denied himself. changmin has been one of those things for almost fifteen years, but of course, this all has to change when they're playing pretend at a normal conversation while yunho's look-a-like lies in a puddle of his own blood just a couple of feet away.

"are they," he takes a deep, steadying breath, "are they fans?"

changmin straightens in his chair, immediately going on the defensive. " _no_. no." he leans forward, his expression set. "i would never—they're just... just _people_. i would never take advantage like that. never." 

although slightly relieved yunho's eyes are, again, drawn to the boy on the living room floor. 

"i don't want you to... to do that anymore," he says, trying to pick his words carefully and failing. 

changmin, despite the gravity of the situation and the conversation their having, raises a single eyebrow in a disbelieving almost-smirk and says, "i'll die. i can go for months without, i can eat normal food and not starve but longer than that and i _will_ die. believe me, i've tried." 

it's another kick to yunho's solar plexus and it takes him a minute to recover. 

when he does he's made up his mind without really, fully intending to. he knows three things about this whole fiasco. one: changmin will die if he doesn't drink blood semi-regularly. two: yunho does not want other people to get hurt. and three: there's love and then there's whatever the hell he feels for shim changmin. 

"you can take what you need from me," yunho says and he sounds a lot surer than he feels. 

the only indication changmin makes of any kind of surprise or shock is that he leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest. 

"you," he says slowly, "don't know what you're offering." 

yunho shrugs. "does it hurt?" he asks instead of acknowledging what changmin said, because he's already laid all his cards out on the table and there is not a single doubt in his mind about what he wants to do, whether it hurts or not. 

there's a lengthy pause and when yunho finally manages to tear his gaze away from the fruit bowl and the safety its mundanity provides he's almost knocked breathless by the look of both unadulterated desire and something else – something darker and feral – that makes yunho's heart press frantically against the cage of his ribs, beating as if to prove he's still alive. 

"it doesn't hurt," changmin says and his voice his hoarse, scratched raw by something worse than longing. 

yunho knows the feeling all too well. 

his voice is barely a whisper when he replies, "show me." 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a letter from Colette to Henry de Jouvenel (written circa November 1912): "You know my desire. I have only one. It has your face and your form and the term of my life."
> 
> [gestures vaguely] Vampires age in this one, lads. They're gonna grow old together.


End file.
